Grief, What to Expect

No two people experience grief in exactly the same way, nor is there a shortcut or quick and easy pathway through grief. But there are a few experiences you can generally expect.

For a while you may find yourself being more forgetful and may even feel confused. There is a lot on your mind and heart. Getting used to the loss of someone you love takes significant energy. Be gentle with yourself when details slip through the cracks, or life feels confused and overwhelming. These things will slowly improve.

Eating and sleeping patterns can abruptly change. Remember it’s not always going to be this way. Try to get some sleep, and remember to eat and drink plenty of fluid. Some people experience wanting to sleep and eat too much. Hopefully others around you will encourage you to take care of yourself. This is really difficult when you don’t feel like paying attention to physical things.

Your loved ones may not grieve the way you do. After the loss of someone you love, it’s possible to experience real anger, resentment and frustration with people around you. Fortunately, people can grieve differently but still be together. Just remember that others are hurting too. Love and respect go a long way in such a stressful time.

Many people question God as they grieve. Sometimes emotions can become really strong; anger, disappointment, frustration, confusion about why things have happened the way they have. You are not alone, people before you have raised these same questions and God can take whatever we throw out. When your heart and mind quiet down, listen for a response; a word from a friend, an insight from being in nature, something you found in scripture, a thought from your journal, etc. God is wonderfully patient with those who grieve. You won’t be turned away or rebuffed.